What’s Your Kid’s Best One Liner?

by This is Carrie on March 17, 2009

I’m working on a new marketing plan for the second edition of the This is Me Journal (due out later this spring). What I need is a couple dozen great quotes from kids ages 3-8.

If anyone out there has a quote they are willing to share, please leave it in the comments with the child’s name (an alias is fine), their age and your e-mail address. If you happen to have a This is Me Journal (thank you, thank you), a funny response to any prompt in the journal would be more than AWESOME. Short and simple is ideal.

If I use your quote in my marketing campaign, I will send you a coupon code for 50% off the new journal once it is released as a small (but all I can afford right now) thank you.

You can also e-mail quotes to: carrie@thisismejournal.com

Here’s a few to get you started:

“When I grow up I want to be a mermaid” Pumpkin, age 3
“A honeymoon is a vacation you take after all the hard work you do to find a husband.”
-Brianna, age 8
“Easter is a very special holiday because of….Cadbury Mini Eggs” -Grace, age 5
Foods I like: “Chicken Doodle Soup.” -Grace, age 5

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura March 17, 2009 at 2:06 pm

“Menopause is a spanish word, right Momma? I hear Grandma say it.”- Neely 3


Vone March 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

“Look mom, she has boobs like you” Lilo age 3


Mynamyn March 17, 2009 at 3:31 pm

“I love my little sister. I don’t think I’ll kill her.”

“Mom, what’s a ‘miracle’?”…after being told…”Mom, did you know YOU’RE a miracle?”

Mad at being told to go to bed: “Mom, I won’t listen to you and don’t think I can keep the commandments right now.”

-Seamus, age 4


Erica March 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Myself (1st grade teacher): “Paul, what do you have in your mouth?”
Paul: “Spit.”

Gabby (kindergartener with a runny nose): “I need a Clean Ups!”

Khiaya (kindergartener): “I have my chopstick in my pocket, I have it cause my lips are all chopped.”

Mackenzie (kindergartener): “It was SO cold outside at reess that Carlos, Callie, Karissa and me all almost got fevers!”


casserole March 17, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Upon seeing my friend’s latest embroidery projects: “They’re so beautiful I have to randomly smack my head.” Followed by three head smacks. Olivia, age 5


MelanyTN March 17, 2009 at 4:12 pm

“I’m worried that Santa doesn’t know the difference between a storm trooper and a clone warrior.”
Griffin – age 5

“A B C D E F G H I J K Elmo N and P…”
Pilar – age 2


lbwelsh6 March 17, 2009 at 4:24 pm

4 year old son: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a shadow.

Mom: You want to be a shadow?(chuckling)

son: Yeah, I want to be Dad’s shadow.


Jenn March 17, 2009 at 5:16 pm

After Payton asked me to draw a picture of a flower she clapped, gave me a hug & kiss then said 'Oh Momma so beautiful… what is that?' Payton 3 yr.


dandelionmama March 17, 2009 at 5:20 pm

When I grow up, I want to be a rainbow. ~Beanie

“…and please Heavn’ly Father, let Beanie remember to put his underwear on, and….” ~Jeffrey, age 6

“Mom, I’ll pay you a dollar if you wipe my bum…” ~Jeffrey, age 5

And then there’s this:


The Facks of Life March 17, 2009 at 6:25 pm

After a well thought out lecture to my son he said….”Mom, you’re wasting your breath.”

Max, age 3


Cindy March 17, 2009 at 8:50 pm

(from the hair page of the journal)
Me : “your dream hair looks really similar to your hair when you wake up.”

Adelle: ” I thought it meant what my hair looked like when I was dreaming”


Chloe March 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm

“Mom, did you know that fat people look like zeros and skinny people look like the number one? You look like the number one…”

Simon age 6

True story…


Chloe March 17, 2009 at 8:56 pm

“Mommy, I hope that we will be together in heaven because we’re the girls and we like to chit chat…”

Sophie age 4


Chloe March 17, 2009 at 8:58 pm

“Heavenly Father please bless Simon to focus at school today…”

Sophie age 4


Patricia Linehan March 17, 2009 at 10:38 pm

Me: “Okay, I’m going to jump in the shower really quick”

Grant (age 4): “No, mom, don’t jump. Just stand in there.

Me: “Let’s hit the road”

Grant (age 4): “Don’t hit it, mom, just drive on it.

“Why does everybody have a butt? And whhhhhhy does it have a line in the middle of it?” Grant (age 4)


Mommymita March 18, 2009 at 1:02 am

After wetting the bed this morning my 3 yr. said to me

“Mommy, I want you to be happy about the laundry”

Here’s some from Peter when he was 4

“How do batteries work? is my heart kind of like a battery?

“I like to rub soap and water on my man nipples to make them look stronger”

A few more from the older boys when they were 4 also.

“Can you get me a ladder mommy I’m going to try and grab the sun today”

“Don’t you think you should be reading me the scriptures in Hebrew so I could know how it really sounded”

They come to us just when we need them. Just when we are about to lose it – it is the crazy things they say that keep us sane.


rebecca March 18, 2009 at 2:43 am

“Sometimes, when I want to punch Larkin in the face, I don’t.” – Kylie age 7


brenbot March 18, 2009 at 4:27 pm

#2 niece said this to me when she was 4:

Our cat Kaz eats food in the morning just like us because he is a living thing. Everything is a living thing, until it dies.


This is Carrie March 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Awesome quotes everyone!! Such great material to work with. The ones that have less to no backstory will be the the easiest to integrate into the marketing. If you have more — please share!



sarah March 18, 2009 at 8:35 pm

My nanny doesn’t eat meat because she is a vegetabletarian–Miles age 4


Andre'a March 19, 2009 at 1:24 am

“No food for the little boy?” Christian Age 3


Brittany March 19, 2009 at 11:55 pm

These are all from Alexander at age 4. I put them on my blog under Quote of the Day. Here are a few:

“Aw, cute, Lincoln! Your diaper rash is so cute!”

“Mom, Grandpa is your dad, Dadda is my dad, and I’m Lincoln’s dad because I’m bigger than him.”

“You know why I wet my pants? Because my [ahem]* said ‘I have to make pee-pees’ to me, but I didn’t hear it because it said it too softly.”

*I didn’t think you wanted me to use the P-word on your blog. That kinda tells me you wouldn’t use it for marketing, but it’s too funny to take off now.

“I wish my bottom was big so I could make super-big stinkies.”

“Mom? I have to tell you something. Why do you think people dip [wipe] their bottoms?”

“Lincoln, don’t spit up because then we have to wipe it up. Okay, Lincoln?”

While eating some Christmas fudge from our neighbors:
“You know what this taste like? It taste like a lot of sugar. We might get holes in our teeth.”

(the rest of these are from when he was still 3)

“You know what mud is made from? Water. Water and sidewalk. And porch.”

“All the leaves fall on the ground. That why it’s Fall.”

“When we say a prayer Jesus comes but we can’t see him because our eyes are closed. Then he leaves when we open our eyes so we don’t see him.”

“I’m a teaser-man. Sometimes when I use the toilet I don’t wash my hands and I’m just teasing because nobody knows.”

“No, I’m not cute! I’m funny and a teaser and a good climber.”

If you DO end up using any, feel free to edit as necessary. If not, hope you at least got a good smile. I’m smiling from reading the other comments. I like Nikki’s lecture quote!


Shell March 20, 2009 at 8:06 am

when a friends child was small

“Amanda Brooke! Where are your manners?!”

The reply “I left them at home under my pillow!”

-Amanda, aged 3 (now 11)


MelanyTN March 20, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Thought of another good one…

“Mommy, I’m feeling out of sorts. I think I only have like one or two sorts left.”
Griffin (then 3)


Janelle March 21, 2009 at 12:14 am

“I’m not a human, I’m a person!”

Shae, @ age 3


Marianne March 27, 2009 at 2:25 am

One just came in and I’m posting it here first :). The kids are sitting on my bed watching old Popeye cartoons while I catch up on e-mails. Here’s what I heard:

“It’s funny how they all have food names…..pot-pie…and olive oil.”



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